Nigerians DO NOT Have Fetishes…Or, So We Believe!

A fetish is when someone is excessively addicted to an object or an action that can seem irrational to others. A fetish doesn’t automatically mean the obsession is negative, but it can cause some distress amongst your peer group.
Hundreds of fetishes involve everything from feet fetishes to even poop fetishes. However, in most cases, they are related to sex and have a stigma around them that make it off limits or taboo. Below are some fetishes that may or may not be practiced in Nigeria. Some require medical attention in my opinion…and some, an attitude adjustment.
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Poop fetish- Coprophilia
All of us have to poo, right? And if we are honest with ourselves, occasionally it can be quite great when we’ve been dying to go for a few hours. Imagine the long bus ride from say Abuja to Lagos, and you have been pressed for hours and finally locate a toilet to unleash the dragon, hmmmm.
So while it’s wonderful relieving ourselves, it’s a different story if the act turns someone else on. Seriously, watching others poop will send a coprophilia into a sexual frenzy.
My verdict- Never seen one in Nigeria, but if I do I’ll recommend a psych analysis.
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Fart fetish- Eproctophilia
Some are loud, some are silent, some smelly and some not quite so rancid. It’s a natural bodily function but what’s not so natural would be to derive sexual pleasure from it. But that’s exactly the instance if you’re an eproctophilia. The truth is, they spend an unusual amount of time fantasizing about farts. Although not very common, you just might be the unlucky one who’s other half’s fervent dream is being pinned down as you let one rip directly on their face.
My verdict- Hmmm, some people can’t stop talking about this or that fart. Even the funny comedians on ‘Night of a 1000 laughs’ seem to have one joke or another about farts. In this case, I’ll recommend an attitude change.
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Dead-body fetish- Necrophilia
Imagine that you’ve been in a relationship for a few months, and then one day you get onto the topic of fantasies. Dressing up, handcuffs, role play, perhaps even a little spanking. Nothing overly unusual here. But then the dude (ehen, dudes have the weirdest fantasies) goes on to tell you his fantasy “I can’t get over this insane desire to sleep with a corpse.”
My verdict- Okay, this one stumps me. Is he a juju man doing money medicine???
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Sex with animals fetish- Bestiality
If you are eyeballing the goat tied to the lamppost and thinking how sexy the animal is, then you’re into bestiality. You’ll be breaking the laws of God and man. You’d also have lots of explaining to do if your madam came home early one day to find you on top of the Salah ram.
My verdict- Clearly, you’re a weirdo of the greatest order. Get help, see a doctor.
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Weeping Fetish – Dacryphilia
Seeing someone crying shouldn’t turn anyone on, but sadly it does. Dacryphilia is the action of being sexually turned by seeing someone weeping. No one actually likes to see another person weeping. Generally, when people are weeping they’re in pain so to be turned on by it can come off as being somewhat sadistic. Dacryphilia isn’t only linked to tears, it is related to the display of powerful emotions and being sexually attracted to someone in misery.
My verdict- This fetish could be a medical condition or simply a bad childhood. Whatever the case, an attitude change will help. If you are a Dacryphilia, try something new like getting turned on by a display of joy.
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Body odor fetish- Olfactophilia
Ever wondered why some men or women are attracted to particular odors? Or perhaps why a scent reminds them of something sexual? A number of people like the smell of grass and some love the smell of sweaty armpits. That said, this fetish is generally connected with the body being turned on by an odd scent or smell. The truth is, olfactophilia’s are merely linking these odors to a memory or event that is related to precisely the same smell.
My verdict- Although this can be a put-off, it is a very good reason to get medical help.
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Auto fetish- Mechanophilia
Nearly all Nigerian men have an unhealthy fixation with their automobiles, so it makes sense that there have been a few that have taken the obsession to new heights. The fetish called Mechanophilia is fairly self-explanatory, the only difference is it isn’t only automobiles; it can be any mechanical thing. There have been several individuals who have been detained abroad for indecent activities with mechanical objects.
My verdict- Poor, innocent car!!