Loss of sexual desire in women aka “honey, not tonight” syndrome, is caused by a combination of stress, physical, hormonal, medical and psychological factors, it usually requires more than one treatment approach to fixing the problem. Besides, women have many motivations and reasons for engaging in sex, including a desire for emotional closeness, but are too embarrassed to discuss the subject.
Viagra, the first pharmacologically approved remedy for low libido/impotence for men, in the 1990s caused a wave of public attention, propelled mainly by heavy advertising. The ‘female Viagra’ has not been so lucky, probably because women are wired differently from men when it comes to sex.
When evaluating treatments for sexual problems, it’s important to recognize that it is not a secret that women place more value on an emotional connection as a spark of sexual desire. Women also appear to be heavily influenced by social, religious and cultural factors as well, and sexual desire is an infrequent reason for women in established relationships. In this case, Viagra, home remedies, etc. will not be the right treatment.
At present, drugs are not of much relevance to the average woman who wants to pep up her libido a bit. Far more important for her is to have the support and understanding of a partner who wants to help you defeat the problem – and who understands how to get you excited in bed.
Can low libido be cured?
Loss of desire can often be corrected, but you need to look carefully at the causes of the problem – preferably with the friendly cooperation of your partner. There aren’t usually any quick fixes. There is an exceptionally large placebo effect, which depends on the user’s expectations of the treatment. What is a placebo effect? Placebo effects are why many supplements claim to be effective in treating sexual problems, expectations play such a significant role in sexual desire, over-the-counter products may argue that they’re effective. A high proportion of women do eventually achieve a return to normal libido.
Once the factors causing low sexual desire are known, potential treatment options may include:
• Relationship counseling or sex therapy is very necessary but not readily available in our environment. Talking about sex is still considered a taboo despite that sex affects our lives much more than we will want to accept. Sex therapy is very useful for individuals and couples, and that is always at the top of my list. We have very few trained professionals, wellness, relationship coaches, and psychologists. Some churches have a few trained counselors. We have more untrained than trained. Because sexual dysfunction usually affects either party in a relationship, the challenges should be discussed together or individually with a professional. Relationship counseling can help boost self-confidence too, especially if you have been emotionally abused or been through stuff.
• Create time to connect with your partner, husbands help your wives especially if both of you work, be considerate of her feelings. Rediscover yourselves, please dear men, do not criticize your wife especially in public, if she has added weight, tell her nicely do not remind her about her pouch and breasts that have gone south.
• Changing medications or altering the dose – if the problem is due to your medications, this may be modified or alternative therapies recommended. If an oral contraceptive is suspected a non-hormonal birth control, methods may be prescribed.
• Addressing underlying medical conditions. Remove painful fibroids, treat vaginal dryness with water base lubricants or vaginal estrogen creams. If a lack of sexual interest is bringing you down, there are steps you can take to boost your sex drive.
• A healthy diet, eat all the food groups in moderation, eat a nutrient-dense, vegetables, fruits, organ meats, eggs, fermented foods, phytoestrogens like legumes (chick peas, black beans), nuts (macadamia nuts, cashews), or small amounts of soy or flax in your diet. These foods estrogen-like effects in the body and may be able to help give you the libido boost you need. Each woman’s body is different so you won’t know how these affect you until you give them a shot.
• The right amount of exercise and a daily dose of fresh air can help whet your sexual appetite. Only walking, taking deep breaths and stretching goes a long way to help. Exercise, stretch, deep breathing – release happy hormones, decrease stress and put you in the mood. Kegel’s exercise helps strengthen pelvic floor muscles and have also been shown to help improve sexual pleasure.
• Allow yourself explore a new erotic desire or fantasy can spark a newfound interest in sex.
• Tidy up your bedroom, make it as inviting as can be.
• Positive stress handling – This is the most effective tip on how to boost female sex drive naturally without using drugs, pills, or medications is to relieve stress. As noted above, your sex drive is related to a lot of different factors, but stress is the most certainly involved. Men and women react differently to stressful situations – while men sometimes use sex as a way to relieve stress, women are particularly susceptible to the effects stress can have on one’s sex life.
- Use of antioxidants, dietary supplements or fruits: fruits that aid female libido are pomegranates, figs, avocado pear, banana and date palms. There are dozens herbs and dietary supplements that are said to enhance sex drive, a lot have not been tested for efficacy and safety though, but for a select few, it served as a libido enhancer. Locally available drinks, tea and spices are ‘agbo’, ‘gurantashe’ tiger nuts, nutmeg, ginger, chili pepper, paw-paw, carrots, garlic and honey.
Maca is useful as a safe, natural remedy for low libido in women; it also has adaptogenic qualities making it an excellent stress-reliever. Helps balance hormones, acts as an aphrodisiac as well as help support mood.
Yohimbe is a tree bark that comes from Africa and is called the natural Viagra. It is said to enhance sexual and sensual sensations and stamina. In women, Yohimbe increases blood flow and circulation to the female organs and boosts sensation and engorgement of genitals.
Other natural aphrodisiac herbal oils such as jasmine, ylang-ylang, and sandalwood, all provide aphrodisiac and sexual stimulation, especially when combined with massage.
Ginko Biloba has long been used as a “woman’s herb” to increase sexual function and health in women. Ginko Biloba helps balance levels of estrogen and progesterone in the female body and can improve sexual drive and function.
Saw palmetto berries come from the saw palm, grows in tropical areas throughout North, Central and South America. Herbalists have often used it as a tonic to treat those suffering from wasting conditions. It is anti-inflammatory and nutritive for the reproductive organs.
Medical science has not substantiated claims that any particular food increases sexual desire or performance
Useful home remedies for treatment ‘honey, not tonight syndrome’ include but not limited to: relieving stress, boosting your self-confidence, healthy eating – eat food containing Zinc such as oysters, crab, peanuts and such seeds as pumpkin seeds, watermelon seeds, and sesame seeds; have some dark Chocolate, avocados, Omega 3 Fatty Acids, and Red Wine in moderation.
Having a trusted friend, partner, support group or a good therapist that you can discuss your sexual discontent can be therapeutic. Sexual disinterest that stems from a physical problem, such as a hormone imbalance, or depression, may need to be treated with medication if lifestyle modification fails.
Whatever the reason for your sex drive troubles, remember this: low libido is a natural part of the human sexual response cycle – what goes up, must come down. – (Dr. Elna McIntosh, updated October 2010).
Please do share this article for those are coping with the loss of sex drive or those you think they need it if you find this article sufficient for your current need. If you have any question you want to ask me, comments or feedbacks, please leave it below. I would love to know your thoughts.
Wishing you good health and happiness,